Time is Flying...

It has been eventful here living outside the box.  I do not mean literally, we do live in a house that many say resembles the shape of a box, but rather our parenting strategies of our children are not fitting the mold created by the so called specialists.  The continuing education of our children, seems to be the topic that is discussed on most occasions around this home.  What are we going to do?  Is this the right place?  Should we homeschool? These are questions that swirl around in the 3 pounds of grey matter in my head on a daily basis.  Conclusions?  Not many right now, but I will keep you posted...

All is well when I am not blogging...

So if that is the case, then things must not be going well, right?  Not necessarily.  I just have a few things on my mind, and it seems that when I type, they are not mountainous as I once thought.  It is the middle of March and here is what has been going on:

Em and Zach:  Still struggling in school, although when I ask the teacher how they are doing I get they have been doin great since they have had the tutor.  OK if that is the case, why are their midterm grades the same as they were the end of the last quarter?  So about this tutor...We pay her a whopping $38 an hour.  Each of them has an hour and a half a week.  That works out to be $114 a week and $456 a month.  I can honestly think of a hundred other things I could do with that amount of money.  But I am doing it for my children right??  We are going to make a decision about that after we have parent teacher conferences in a week.

We have also seen a psychologist about having psychoeducational testing done to see if they have any learning disabilities that can account for their grades in class.  The initial consultation was $450 out of pocket, no insurance reimbursement and did not go toward our deductible.  We found out a couple of things from that.  1) Zachary may or may not have dyslexia, he has executive function diffuliculities which contrubute to his inability to perform well at school and home, he has an anxiety disorder... 2) Emily may have a form of OCD and not the organizing type (bummer for me) she may also have exectuive function disorder and learning disabilities and possibly anxiety disorder.  What do I need to do to find out if the kids are dealing with this?  Come up with about $2200 per kiddo to have them tested.  Not covered by insurance and not reimbursed or put toward our deductible. 

So do we request that the school do the educational part of the testing or do we continue on our own and pay for it.  That is the decision we need to make.  The issue with the school has been that they don't think they have a problem and don't want to do the testing.  We have been asking for it since the third grade.  They are now almost finished with fourth grade.

On to Easton...tomorrow, or in another post.

Words of Wisdom

Zach and Em gave us these halarious words of wisdom as a Christmas present.  Their 4th grade teacher had them complete them in class before break.  Here they are!

FOURTH GRADE PROVERBS!

Better to be safe than... in trouble (Z)
                                    get kidnapped (EM)

Strike while the... monkey is dancing (Z)
                           ball is up (Em)

All that glitters is not...a flitter (Z)
                                  sad (Em)

If you lie down with dogs, you... bark (Z)
                                                  wake up (Em)

You can't teach an old dog new... trix (Z)
                                                    tricks (Em)

Now news is... no blues (Z)
                        bad news (Em)

You get out of something what you... get in (Z)
                                                         eat (Em)

When the blind leadeth the blind... finds (Z)
                                                    crashes (Em)

Better late than... early (Z)
                           sick (Em)

You can lead a horse to water, but ... you can't make it have it (Z)
                                                         don't lead it to a tree (Em)

Don't bite the hand that... bites you (Z)
                                       burns (Em)

It is always darkest just before... your march (Z)
                                                  evil spirits (Em)

Where there's smoke, there's...fire (Z and Em)

Never underestimate the power of... snow (Z) - I like how he thinks!
                                                        God (Em)

Happy is the bride who ... is high (Z)
                                        marry's you (Em)

If at first you don't succeed... second you don't need (Z)
                                             just trt try again (Em)

Two's company, three's ... grumpy (Z)
                                         food (Em)

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and... the world cry's at you (Z)
                                                                        the world cry's with you (Em)

Children should be seen and not... unseen (Z)
                                                    on the street (Em)

A penny saved is... one step away from being broke (Z)
                              a nickle saved (Em)

The pen is mightier than the ... marker (Z)
                                              pencil (Em)

An idle mind is ... not the side (Z)
                           really bad (Em)

Todd and I laughed for about 10 minutes, no joke.  I wonder what makes these wonderful kiddos come up with these thoughts!

Happy New Year!

The week from....another reality

Last week was absolute chaos.  Monday started out with Easton being sent to the 8th grade classroom because of misbehavior.  It may be only me, but sending a kindergartener to the 8th grade classroom is not in anyway shape or form appropriate.  So I call the school to find out why this happened.  Their answer:  That is where we send the students who need to be disciplined.  OK what could he have done that resulted in that?  He was taking another kiddos snack, he was not compliant with what the teacher wanted, he did not follow the rules.  He was moving in the line.  I am not sure what would happen if something really terrible happened, but I can assure you that this type of behavior is very characterist of children with Asperger's Syndrome.

So Tuesday, I call the SLP that is the case manager for his IEP and tell her my concerns.  She is very sympathetic, but still stands behind where they sent him.  I told her that I didn't think it was appropriate, and suggested that he would do better if he had someone in class with him to help re-direct him when his behavior seems out of control.  She didn't want to do that because she wanted him to be able to function without support.  OK fine, but what is going to happen, when his behavior becomes an issue again.  When I dropped Easton off at school on Tuesday, I told his teacher that he didn't get a homework sheet sent home with him on Monday.  Her response, "He should have told me so I could give him a new one."  I left again feeling very frustrated.  I don't know how many time I have told them he will not turn it in.  You need to get it out of his bag for him.  He doesn't understand the whole concept of why he has to do the homework, and then why he would need to turn it in.  It does not make sense to him.  He is like that in swim lessons.  He thinks the purpose is to have fun and play in the water.  He has completed Level 1, four times in the past year because he doesn't understand why he needs to show that he can move through the water in a specific way.  I can see the way he thinks "If i am having fun and I am not drowning or dying or at the bottom of the pool, who cares if I can't do a backstroke the way they want me to."  So he again looks defiant, when he really just doesn't care about what others want him to do.

Wednesday cam around and I was a mess.  My nerves were raw and I wasn't sure how I could handle another day of so called misbehavior.  And to top it off, Easton was getting to go home with his best friend Jasper.  I LOVE Jasper.  He just gets Easton.  I have watched them interact, and there is something magical about it.  I know that sounds kinda wierd, but he knows Easton.  It is like they can communicate without all the 'stuff'  He understands Easton's quirks and is able to be his friend no matter what.  Did I say I loved the kid.  So I go to Boise to pick Easton up at Jasper's house.  Hoping that he didn't wear out his welcome.  He was wonderful.  Played well with Jasper and his little brother.  To top it off, he had an absolutely perfect day, according to the teacher.  WOW!  What changed?  Still can't figure it out.

Thursday...not too bad, but I also went and helped in the classroom to see if that might help with his behavior.  He did well!  I was happy and he seemed content.  He didn't have many issues that day.  So I believe that we have this figured out.  Nope.  You would think that I would learn that just as I think I have it figured out, he changes.  OK I think, I will just adapt.  Try to figure out the next best way to motivate him.

Friday...complete meltdown.  He spent most of the class out of the classroom, somewhere else.  I can only imagine what is going thru his mind.  He can't figure out why he is the only kid in class that is getting sent out.  What am I doing that is so bad that they don't want me there.  And mom, I do not like stars anymore.  The teacher had been using stars to motivate him to have good behavior.  He gets 2 warnings, and if he doesn't stop whatever it is that he is doing, he gets a star taken away.  So now he doesn't like the stars, and could care less if they are taken away. 

Did I say I was glad it was Friday?  I don't ever remember as long as my kids have been in school, being glad that it was Friday, and that I didn't have to worry about what was going to happen at school.  We could all finally breath, long and slow.

I found this article in another blog....

So I am a copy-cat.  I found this rather interesting and wanted a place to put it I would remember, so it is here for viewing...


The Atlantic (November 2009 issue) has featured Thorkil Sonne, CEO and Founder of Specialisterne in the article Brave New Thinkers.


“After his son Lars was diagnosed with autism in the late 1990’s, Sonne had an epiphany. Autistics tend to have poor social skills and difficulty response to stress or changes, which makes finding work a challenge (one study suggests that only 6 per cent of autistic adults have full-time employment). but Sonne realized they also tend to be methodical, possess excellent memories, and show great attention to detail and tolerance for repetition — in other words, the might make excellent software testers. With this in mind, Sonne launched Specialisterne, in Copenhagen, in 2004. Thirty-seven of its 51 employees have autism…The firm now pulls in $2 million a year in revenue and serves clients like Microsoft and CSC. Sonne refuses to run the company like a charity: he competes in the open market and aims to make a profit. This makes government support unlikely, but it may lead to a sustainable new model for companies with disabled employees: Harvard Business School now uses Spepcialisterne as a case study in social-enterprise business. People on the autistic spectrum are not super human memory machines, but neither are they incapable of work. Sonne treats them as employees with strengths and weaknesses that smart employers should respect — and capitalize on.” (The Atlantic, November 2009, p. 68).

Mom...tomorrow is the end of the world!

That is what Easton said to me as we were laying in bed.  What do you mean the end of the world, I ask?  I know it is Halloween, but I was pretty sure the world was not going to end.  Then he says, "after the end of the world it will be November!"  Ah, you mean the end of the month!  "Yeah mom, end of the world!"  OK  one of these days I will be able to understand his thought process, until then, I will just have to go with the flow!

The past couple of weeks have been tough for Easton at school.  He was just starting to get into the routine of things, and then fall break comes around.  Two and a half weeks of being home and no schedule!  Fun for everyone, until school starts again.  Easton has major meltdown at school.  He is sent into the special education room 3 times.  Now think about it, he is only there for 2 1/2 hours each day, and he is sent to room 3 times.  What is that?  About once every 45 minutes or so?  Don't get me wrong, Erica is the best Special Education teacher I have met, but come on 3 times in one day?  Give the kid a break!  So the next day, I go into his classroom to talk to his Kindergarten teacher (Mrs. Barnes) to find out what we can do to help him get through the day.  We come up with a plan to give him 3 stars at the beginning of the day.  When he misbehaves, he loses a star.  Great I think!  This will work!  First day: 2 stars - Way to go Easton!  Second day:  3 stars:  OK this is really going to work!  He likes getting stars!  Day 3-5:  ZERO stars!  What the Heck happened?  BUT not only does he come home with a note that says ZERO stars, but the note also says that he lost stars for humming in class.  Now I am getting MAD.  That is what kids with Autism do to calm themselves, they hum and rock.  Why is he getting stars taken away??   You wouldn't take stars away from someone that rocked in class because the had a cast on their foot would you?  Absolutely not!  Anyway, I have an IEP meeting with the school on Tuesday Nov. 3rd, and I am not sure what is going to come of it....UGH!

Twins??

I laugh because if I don't I will cry.  I roll my eyes hoping that it is just a dream, but it isn't.  I smile, because it makes living bearable and because if I didn't.... it just wouldn't be worth it. 

October break for my kiddos is a 2 and a half week long vacation from school.  I dread it, kinda....but in another way it is relaxing.  There are no schedules to keep, no busses to catch, no parents of neurotypical kids giving me the eye... you know the one you get because your kid isn't behaving in a socially acceptable way.  So far it has been good to just do nothing, because I can.

I started off the kids break with a visit to the developmental pediatricians office for the twins.  I hate calling them that because after the baby stage was over they were just two kids that happen to share the same birthday, that is how I view them.  I sometimes even temporarily forget that I have twins because they are not at all alike.  So off to the doctor we go.  My son is terrified because whenever I say doctor, he assumes he is going to be shot, a huge ordeal that has the nurses taking a lunch break when they realize why we are there.  I assure him and his sister at this point that under no circumstances am I taking them to get shot because I have turned that duty over to Dad from now on. 

So they are excited because we are going to the fun doctor.  I really do like him and he seems to be able to relate to the kids.  Em is the first one and we go over how she is doing on meds and at school and so on.  The doc thinks she is doing OK but wants us to get psychoeducational testing done.  I agree, and he gives me the name.  Zach is next and already has a chip on his shoulder because his sister is an inch taller and weighs 5 pounds more.  So we start with his meds.  Yes everything is good.  Sleep patterns not so good.  Anxiety...horrible.  We explain what has been going on, and the doc suggests we try him on a small dose of seratonin AKA: antidepressant.  Another RX to add to the list.  We are up for anything because his panic attacks are becoming harder to control and deal with.  The doc also suggests psychoeducational testing and counseling to help with his anxiety.  OK so we agree.

Called the psychologists office today, they haven't returned my call.  Zach over hears my message and gives me this look like I have absolutely lost my mind.  I explained to him that the doctor wanted to do some psychoeducational testing with him.  He responds "What just because Josh made up the word?"  I burst out laughing and gave him a hug.  It did sound like a word Josh made up, but it wasn't.  I explained what the word meant and why we thought it was a good idea.  Then I had to go into an indepth explaination about how I didn't think he was crazy, because to him, psychoeducational sounded crazy.  I just told him that his brain works a little differently and we need to figure out how to help him so that he did better in school.

The hard part of this whole parenting kiddos that have "issues" is that they are bright kids.  They are just a bit quirky and need help in certain areas.  So I always second guess myself.  If I had carried them to term, would they function better and cope better?  Would they feel normal?  Would they have a normal and healthy weight?  I don't really have a good answer to that.  Fortunately I just love them for who they are and hope that I can teach them to be......